i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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