saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
