What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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