God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
