So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I wish there were birth control emojis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
