I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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