I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
