I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
