just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hippo gnu deer
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
