the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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