If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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