I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your penis caused this!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
