People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
