Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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