2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
