Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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