The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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