I wannas sexs uuuuu
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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