well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
