He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
