how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
