I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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