they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
