Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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