I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
