SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm at about main and main street
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
jump out the window naked night went bad
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
