yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
