wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
