I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
