Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
