Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
