Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
