I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
