So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just had sex bonerless
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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