Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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