Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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