mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
