Dual....:-)
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
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