Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
