Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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