Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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