i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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