So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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