Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
