It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize