Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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