It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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