You're my little dorito
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
