is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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