Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
