I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
