real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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