I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
