You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
