so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
